okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
