Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
