My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I intend to get homeless drunk
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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