I want to make a zoo with you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
