You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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