oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
