Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
