i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
