Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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