I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
