Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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