They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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