I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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