Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
