the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize