once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
