I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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