a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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