We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
