my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am naked and annoyed.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
