Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
