after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize