so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
