we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
