Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
