now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
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Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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