Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
