You really coming over, don't trick.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This baby is an asshole
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
