I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
