we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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