You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
