Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
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you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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