I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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