Your face is a jimmy john
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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