Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
