I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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