First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
