The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize