If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
