he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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