omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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