Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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