So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
