You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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