dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.