i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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