You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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