I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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