dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
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Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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