I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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