his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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