The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
her vagine was all disorganized.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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