I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
