Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
