ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
