I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
