I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
