the condom got lost in my hair
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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