i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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