PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
